456 responses to “Not a Fan of Nursing In Public? Suck on This.”

1. Also, if you honestly think you can plan around a baby, much less a newborn, then you obviously do not have children or are so detached from parenting an infant that you have a distorted perception of their unpredictability. Furthermore, the mother is not saying HER OWN needs are more important than others needs. She’s saying her BABY’S needs are more important than everyone else’s needs. And isn’t that the point of parenthood?

   How is breastfeeding rude? How in the world? That is absolutely the most bizarre thing anyone has ever said. In what situation in the world would breastfeeding a hungry baby EVER be rude?

2. I love this! I still breast feed my 15 month old baby, she is healthy!! I never covered up either. You could see more of me in a bikini so why should I make my baby sweat under a cover. And they are boobs, everyone has seen boobs before….

3. Frankly, I never felt comfortable exposing any part of my large breasts in public. I always had a blanket to cover up. Honestly, how dare you or anyone else tell any mother how she should behave when she is feeding her child??

   • She wasn’t telling you how YOU should feed your child, she was just telling people that you shouldn’t get offended just because you don’t agree with how SHE feeds her child. But then again, I think you totally missed that point.

     Feed your child however you want. Cover up, go in a bathroom, feed in the middle of a restaurant or store, feed uncovered, hide in your car. Do what makes YOU comfortable. It’s not about other people and what they think.

   • You missed the point, you moron.

     • Fuck off, bitch. If you really gave a flying fuck about anything, you would realize that nursing isn’t about making some kind of social statement. Instead of making snide comments about an article of clothing that could perhaps make some women feel more comfortable, why don’t you get your head out of your own ass and realize that you can’t change society with your stupid snarky comments. I worked for WIC as a lactation counselor. I took courses at LLL in order to do that job. What are your qualifications?? Yeah, didn’t think so.

     • I guess your prerequisite education preceding LLL classes didn’t include reading comprehension. This post has nothing to do with nursing covers. It is explicitly addressing the population who thinks it’s their business to force a woman to cover when she doesn’t want to. I’m all for women nursing however they are comfortable. Covered, uncovered, in private, in public, for a month, or for 6 years. I don’t need to list my qualifications to you in order to justify my support of breastfeeding. I’m glad you made it through the 4 hour seminar to be a peer counselor. Congrats.

     • The lady clearly has some PP issues. Also, she USED to work for WIC we can see there’s a good reason why she doesn’t now. And from assessing the comments and remarks, sure she went to some classes, but what good is that if she clearly didn’t absorb the information properly.

   • How professional of a LC you are to say “fuck off, bitch” to people on a public forum.

4. But, with the Milktent TM, you don’t even need pants. How awesome is that? It’s like a fashion-foward burka, in minky no less!

   • hahahaha awesome!

   • lol

5. Love this. I am expecting my first in June, so I haven’t had the joy of experiencing this myself, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading this!

6. Love this! What message are we sending our kids when a nursing mother is asked to cover up when many women are walking around exposing way more skin on a daily basis. I personally think the whole “body stigma” is overrated and that we all just need to get over the fact that women have breasts and there is nothing shameful about their use. Biologically speaking, we wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for breasts. All of my babies like to play peek a boo with a cover which draws way more attention to me than just pulling up a shirt and slipping a nipple in their mouth.

7. I got more disgusted looks when covering than when I just fed without covering…no one knew what I was doing because it just looked like my shirt was rumpled….but then that was just me. I fed all four ofnmy kids in public.

8. I do not appreciate the attitude of this article. Many people don’t actually agree with all the sexual imaging out in the world nowadays. I believe as do many others that it is simply immodest to display bare breasts for the world to see. Breastfeeding is very natural and I’m all for feeding in public if the woman is comfortable doing so and she IS covered up. Not from shame but with the realization that we women have a responsibly to help our men who struggle with lust. Breasts have two functions sexual and for nourishing our children. But a man walking by is still thinking, wow there is a breast right there, and not thought of as, wow what a beautiful mother child moment, as much as we might wish they were.

   • Deanne, I’m sorry but we absolutely do NOT have the responsibility to “help men who have an issue with lust.” You speak as if men are animals unable to control themselves. Give them a little more credit please.

     • Thank you! Exactly what I wanted to say. Men are not children. They can control themselves. You know, there was a point in not-to-distant history where the sight of a woman’s *ankle* was thought to be enough to send a man into a raping fury and the woman “only had herself to blame for her immodesty”. Sound familiar, Deanne? “Men can’t help themselves.” B.S. My man is man enough to control his “issue with lust.” Maybe you’re just with a little boy who can’t help it. I say woman up and find a better man.

     • Amen! And my husband IS the type to think its awesome that more women are breastfeeding. He says you have to be not right in the head to see a mother who is nursing in a sexual way. And we’re Catholics who see the holiness in that mother-child moment.

   • And for women who like oral, I guess all the men out there should wear muzzles? Seriously. And I suppose infants who won’t tolerate covers should go hungry.

   • Huh? Wow…. A woman needs to keep her breast covered as a responsibility to men? Where are you from? Iran?

     As a man, I am perfectly comfortable with your uncovered breast. Thanks for the concern, though……

     • LOL Al!! You sound like my husband! Good for you!

     • I love you, Al. Thanks for being ballsy enough to handle your “issues with lust.” If people stopped belittling men into thinking they really can’t control themselves then maybe fewer of them would rape women. You’re a good man. Keep being awesome, dude.

   • The topic is not displaying breasts for the world to see – it is feeding babies. Breasts being used for feeding are not on display, they are actually quite hidden. This is a commonly made up scenario, and just is not realistic.

   • Funny thing is, just because you don’t agree with the sexual imaging in the world (as I’m not exactly a fan of it myself) it is still there. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Like she said, you don’t have a right not to be offended. I’m thoroughly disgusted at seeing young teenage girls wearing half a shirt and a headband to cover their butt out in public, but I have absolutely no right to ask them to put on a moo-moo to make me more comfortable. I hate that my young, impressionable daughter looks at girls on TV and in magazines and asks me if she is fat because she doesn’t look like them. Can I really call up ABC and tell them they have a responsibility to my child to put more appropriate clothing on their actresses- or better, hire some more actresses that don’t look like they’re anorexic? No. No, I don’t think so. However I CAN educate my child. I CAN teach her that her body is completely normal and she is not fat, those girls are just not allowed to eat. I can discuss the dangers of anorexia and bulemia with her, so that she doesn’t fall into the media trap.
     How about instead of putting unnecessary responsibility on breastfeeding mothers to babysit grown men, you teach your son what breasts are actually meant for, and that seeing them is not an invitation, and that seeing them being used for breastfeeding is, actually, none of their damn business.

   • If a man is lusting when he sees a little baby nursing milk maybe he has some serious issues. I’m not responsible for his disgusting thoughts! Honestly, just the other day a woman was nursing her toddler in front of me and I didn’t even know it!!! I had no clue until she stopped. She was completely covered up.

   • The idea that all men are incapable of controlling their lustful urges is ridiculous. Give them some credit. Even if we assume that is true of some men, why is it my responsibility to avoid giving them anything to lust after? If a person is truly incapable of containing their lust and urges it is their responsibility to avoid the rest of society. It is not society’s responsibility to accomodate their lack of self control.

   • First you got it backwards Breast have two functions nourishing a child then sexual. As a man I am really upset as to your backward way of thinking as any real man seeing a mother feeding her child as just that! Not a lusting sexual mind set. I Love my wife and she turns me on in alot of ways but seeing her feed my child is not one of them, A thing of beauty yes because she is caring for my child. Your way of thinking is that all men are perverts and it shows just how closed minded you are. Charles

   • Wow! Just WOW! Do you lecture women in bathing suits about their “responsibly” to “help men who struggle with lust”? I guess you work hard to keep your man from watching music video or even the Oscars, lest he be consumed with lust.

   • You know… I’m pretty sure MY husband would be insulted that someone would think he couldn’t handle “lust”. Women can lust too! Do you lick the cover of men’s underwear packages or stop to stare at the bulge? Seriously? If I was unfaithful… that’d be MY fault… if my husband were unfaithful…. that’d be HIS fault. We all have to be responsible for our own behavior. Just like we teach our kids. Take responsibility for your OWN actions… not the actions of your man… let him fend for homself.!

   • Seriously? Should I cover my ankles to make an Amish man comfortable?
     Listen. My boyfriend has probably seen more breasts than Hugh Hefner at this point. He is fully supportive of breastfeeding, however a mother feels most comfortable, including me. I have had, at one time, as many as 5 nursing mothers, none covered, on my property. Somehow, the men in attendance managed not to ravage every bare breasted woman in sight.
     Give men more credit as humans with fully functional frontal lobes and get your head out of the 50s.

9. Pingback: Nursing in Public | And Babies Make Six·

10. An implicit argument here is this: screw other people if they don’t like the way I behave.
    And while on the one hand that is fine, it also suggests that, “I know what I’m doing bothers people and I don’t care.”
    Just as you criticize others for being arbiters of what is publicly acceptable, you are being an arbiter of what is publicly acceptable, even if it bothers, let’s say, 10% of the people around. And even if a more natural solution is compromise. In your view, others have to compromise what makes them comfortable so you never have to be inconvenienced.
    Bathrooms are not, in most cases, dens of shit and germs, as you suggest, but clean, appropriate places to take care of the needs of my baby, putting on make-up, making a quick phone call, etc.
    I could, indeed, make my phone call in the restaurant/coffee shop/wherever, but my yakking might irritate, let’s say, 10% of those around me, and out of deference to those people, I’ll take it elsewhere. Why? Because I don’t consider my needs to be above those of everybody else, when an easy compromise is at hand. Bathrooms, planning ahead, can minimize this need, and then, if I have no other options, of course it is fine to breastfeed in public. But to know it may make other’s uncomfortable and say “screw them” is selfish and not modelling the behavior I want from others. There is a middle ground here, and to suggest that it’s all or nothing disregards the subtlety that exists in public discourse and behavior.
    Also, to demonize all those who might disagree as idiots/bad spellers debases your argument. It doesn’t have to be so much “us against them”. I would liken it to modern political rhetoric and would hope you would strive to achieve something higher.

    • Do you take your lunch and eat in the bathroom? Would you want to sit on a public toilet and eat your meal? Because I certainly do not want to sit in a public bathroom stall will my baby nurses. So I will do it in public, rather than a nasty restroom where women come in and relieve their waste, thank you. And no, it doesn’t matter if it makes people uncomfortable because that is their issues. They’re used to breast as sexual which are not what they are intended for, that’s what we have made them. And if they are comfortable with bottle feeding anywhere, then they need to get used to nursing as well. I can’t expect you to understand if you’ve never been in a nursing mother’s shoes with a hungry child in the middle of a public place who will not stop crying until they can nurse. But, I do believe you will change your mind if you ever wind up in the situation.

      • Nobody said “Stall”, but a clean bathroom is a fine place. Nobody said “do it in a toilet”. However, your argument that “a bathroom is disgusting” is really you saying “I refuse to be even mildly inconvenienced because I’m entitled”,
        It’s not about sexuality, it’s about acknowledging this isn’t a black and white issue. People’s feelings matter, as much as our own, self-righteous instincts tell us otherwise.

      • M.Katz you are way out of line. When was the last time you were in a PUBLIC restroom that provided a seating area where a mother could sit and nurse her baby? You can’t expect a mother to stand up and try to nurse, not to mention if she isn’t closed in a stall, she is still nursing out in the open for other women to see. Furthermore, a public restroom is one of the most disgusting unsanitary places on earth. I can’t believe you would expect a baby to eat in one. Do you take your meals in the bathroom? I highly doubt it. As for covering up, thats great if its not too hot and the baby will tolerate it. I’m not about to suffocate my child just so you can be more comfortable. Besides the fact that there isn’t much to see when a baby is latched on. Unless you are outright staring, you won’t see anything. You obviously care more about the feelings of those 10% of people than you do about a child’s needs.

      • Let’s not forget that nursing mothers often have other children to care for, and all the requisite gear that comes with diapering, snacks, etc. YES, I think it’s completely reasonable to expect a grown person looking on to DEAL WITH THEIR OWN FEELINGS in favor of allowing a new mother to remain comfortable. Her “convenience” is a matter of nurturing our society’s children, and being unwelcoming/inconsiderate of children and families is a HUGE problem in our society. It is why people are depressed, isolated and lonely. NO, a mother should not be “inconvenienced” (read: shamed and forced to hide) by your feelings of discomfort at the natural act of feeding her children.

    • Exactly. It is important to live in a way that is conscious to others. I’d love to just stay uncovered, but no I don’t want to be seen, and there are others who don’t want to see it, and those who do don’t need another reason to be disgusting. It’s only beneficial to one’s self to be uncovered, not anyone else. The bathroom isn’t the only alternative for children who don’t like to be covered. The car is one of the most comfortable places I’ve nursed, friends were happy to lend another room, and businesses have rooms set aside for employees to pump, they are likely fine with customers using it. I’ve also nursed in public without a cover by covering all of myself that I could, staying out of line of site, our being next to a human wall like my husband, mother, sister, or female friend. And no, we’re not hypocrites who let our children look at bikinis, Beyonce, and half naked ads. We and a great deal of other families we know keep these things out of our lives. Just because the world is full of inappropriate people doesn’t mean people don’t live without that.

      • Precisely my point! YOU are responsible for removing things from your life which you find inappropriate for your family. You don’t lobby the grocery store to stop carrying magazines, you just avoid that aisle when shopping. You don’t stomp around the beach telling women to put on more clothes, you avoid them entirely. So you also don’t get to tell me to put on a cover to compensate for your opinion of nursing. You just look elsewhere.

      • Unfortunately, sometimes nursing in a car doesn’t work well. It’s super hot in the summer and my son never would nurse in the car. He just never liked it and I am very sensitive to the heat. I did try to cover up when I could in public, but honestly half the time my son would just pull the blanket down. Most people do try to nurse discreetly and for different people that means different things. If you are more comfortable in your car, that’s great. If a mom can cover up easily, that’s great too! But if discreet means simply nursing uncovered go for it! I’ve had people nurse in front of me uncovered and I had NO CLUE. I didn’t see any skin. So honestly, people just need to get over it. It’s how babies are fed. One of the many facts of life.

      • “It’s only beneficial to one’s self to be uncovered, not anyone else.” FALSE – we learn to breastfeed babies by seeing breastfeeding, we’re teaching future mothers and fathers here.

      • I am horrified to think of the attitudes you are perpetuating for your children by being so paranoid about covering up. I hope you are prepared to pay for therapy. They’ll need it! Oh, and just quietly…the implication that breastfeeding mothers who don’t want to use toilets to feed are inconsiderate is really, really, highlighting your concern for others’ feelings. You seem so in tune! Actually, I hated breastfeeding in public. I was sexually abused by my father and it brings up all sorts of issues for me…not to mention that the thought of someone looking makes my blood run cold. But you know what? I actually am in tune – with my beautiful little girl. After three months it was impossible to keep those covers on, she fought them so when she was hot and wanted to see everything. I changed my entire wardrobe to make it a bit easier to cover up, and I still am very cautious and uptight about it (which is about MY issues, by the way, not anyone elses’)…and I can’t bear to make that little girl wait, or risk her getting sick by feeding somewhere gross. In the end, I chose to get over myself and worry about the most important person with the least ability to stand up for herself – my daughter. And now I proudly explain to curious little boys and girls what I’m doing…so that when they grow up – hopefully in a nicer world – they will know what to do. One step at a time changes the world…but you have to get over yourself. Sounds like you have a way to go. Good luck.

    • Most public restrooms aren’t clean. And again, do you take your meals and eat it in a “clean bathroom”? And As you said “However, your argument that “a bathroom is disgusting” is really you saying “I refuse to be even mildly inconvenienced because I’m entitled”,”. I do refuse to eat in a bathroom, be there a stall or not and I refuse to let my child eat in a bathroom. It has everything to do with epople making breast sexual. If you are not comfortable with it, do not look. People are going to nurse their children because you can’t tell babies to wait. Your points are making no logical sense. It’s the law so you can no like it or not agree with it all you want but nursing mothers have a right to feed their child and we ARE entitled to do it. So, for the record, I don’t care how other people feel about it because I am feeding my child and where ever is good for a bottle is good for a breast because it’s serving the same purpose. You can state your opinion until you’re blue in the face but again, the fact is, it’s the law.

      • whoops, this was supposed to be above the previous one.

    • I don’t understand how you want me to nurse in a bathroom. To nurse, I need to sit with my baby on my lap. Where do you suggest I sit? If on the toilet, do you suggest I sit on the toilet with my pants up? Should I sit on the floor? The counter or sink? I just can’t imagine how I could use a public restroom as a nursing place. Please explain.

    • Babies ARE entitled to a clean and healthy environment to eat their food, just like anyone else.

    • Thank you!!! It’s all about respect people! I have very strong opinions on modesty and I know my husband struggles with lusting, as do many many men. I realize some people don’t have the same opinion that lusting is wrong or detrimental to a person, but I strongly believe that it is and knowing such, as a woman, I believe it my responsibility to keep covered, even if it’s an inconvenience. I am hearing a huge lack of respect for those who are uncomfortable with exposed breasts, or those like myself who simply don’t agree with such exposure. I don’t live in the dark ages, I’m not a prude, I simply choose to live my life the way I believe God wants, and for anyone to call me down because of that is just plain rude and disrespectful. I agree with this poster. Just because you “embrace” this way of breastfeeding, doesn’t mean the rest of the world agrees with it. This is a big issue to many people on both sides of the coin. Respect needs to be given both ways. But do not tell me I live under a rock, or am from the dark ages, or that religion is messing up the world, just because I disagree and happen to mention that I do!

      • Sounds like your husband needs some therapy if he can’t control his own sexual desires. And that is simply your husband’s problem. *MY* husband has absolutely no problem seeing a half naked woman and not automatically wanting to have sex with her.
        You cannot support breastfeeding and then say “only if”. You either support it or you don’t. And again- you’re uncomfortable with an exposed breast, fine, remove yourself from the situation. Go sit in your car until I leave the store. Then you don’t have to be so uncomfortable anymore, and I can feed my baby without being afraid your husband is daydreaming of raping me.

      • Yes, it *is* all about respect. Your husband, and all other men and women, should have enough respect for women to not lust after every woman he sees who may be inadvertently “titillating” him by feeding her hungry baby, or by wearing a swimsuit at the beach, or by having large breasts, or by walking down the street with hips, or by being a woman. I am so sick and tired of the notion that I, by my being a woman, am contributing to the downfall of men everywhere. If a man lusts after a woman in any context, it is his responsibility to reign it in, look away, think about something else, or do whatever it is he has to do to respect the woman and himself and his God. It is NOT my responsibility as a woman to go to any lengths to ensure that no one ever thinks an “inappropriate” thought about me. Should I, as a “modest” woman, be sure to never, ever, ever, under any circumstances wear stiletto heels, or open-toed shoes (or whatever) in public simply because someone I may encounter, somewhere, has a foot fetish and will lust after me when he catches a glimpse of my toe cleavage or my (gasp!) entire toes, uncovered?! Should I be sure to always place a hand in front of my mouth when I talk in public, so as to ensure that any male in my presence doesn’t see my open mouth and tongue and have lustful thoughts of what else I could (sexually) do with those body parts? Should I never eat in public? You are telling me that as a woman it is my responsibility to keep covered even if it inconveniences me, but to what extent? To what extent do I have to inconvenience myself (and in the very real part of this scenario, my helpless baby) to save others (logical, thinking, reasoning adults, might I add) the “inconvenience” of controlling their thoughts and actions?! Do I need to wear a burqa and cover my body and face entirely to “help out” those who may struggle with lust or to not offend those who may be offended by my womanness in any way?

        I say all this as a very spiritual, religious woman. I don’t think “modesty” and “breastfeeding” have anything to do with each other. It has been said time and time again, but apparently it bears repeating: I am quite positive that Mother Mary quite happily and openly breastfed her baby boy Jesus. This is a very recent cultural shift that has led us to where we are now in the U.S. regarding nursing in public and “modesty,” brought on by the widespread availability and use of formula in the ’50s. In just several generations, breastfeeding openly has changed drastically, and I believe that in a few more generations, It can be changed again, with enough “exposure” (forgive the pun, it’s the word that fits best!), and breasts can once again be seen for that purpose which they were created: nourishing and sustaining life. What could be more modest and Godly?

      • LOL! Those poor guys who struggle with lust…. Imagine actually have every guy in the world lusting after you! Think of the power!!! They would do anything for you! How fabulous!
        But the truth is…. they don’t. Some might, but honestly when you’re feeding your baby? I highly doubt it!
        It’s a shame your husband struggles with lust 😦 I feel for you both. My husband is very lust filled… towards me! Not towards anyone else. He was walking down the street with another of his friends and apparently there was some ‘hot babe’ but he didn’t even see her! The point is, he’s happy and he wasn’t even ‘looking’ at other women.
        Oh and by the way, my husband is very pro-breastfeeding and if he ever saw/heard someone being asked to leave to breasfeed or to cover up or go to the toilet or any nonsense he would be standing up for women’s rights to feed anywhere!
        We live in New Zealand where it is actually illegal to ask a woman to leave somewhere while breastfeeding or to breastfeed. An outside market manager asked a woman to use an inside room (rather than out in the market place) and it was all over the news and was a big deal! LOL

      • But you are from the dark ages, and religion is messing up the world. You can’t forbid me from telling the truth, much as you would obviously like to do so. There is no obligation to respect beliefs that are silly, sexist, and unreasonable. Just because you believe something does not automatically mean that belief deserves respect. Nor does it mean that people have to cater to your beliefs. I respect your right to believe whatever nonsense you prefer but you cannot inflict your beliefs on others. It is a fact, not a belief or a personal preference, that breastfeeding is normal & healthy.

      • Ok you know, I breast fed in public. I used a blanket ONLY because I struggled so much with breastfeeding my children. And because when I was younger, I remember shopping at walmart and a woman was completely covered feeding her child on the bench and her two other kids played quietly beside her. A man walked up to her and made a huge scene telling her how disgusting it was and to keep it to herself. I was completely offended by his comments. It’s people like that that make it difficult for any mom to breast feed in public. That was my choice… to cover. And had I chosen not to… that would have been my choice… and had I not struggled so much with the entire process… I might not have covered. My choice had nothing to do with anyone else… and especially not the fear of some man lusting.

        I have seriously never heard a man say “OMG OMG OMG! Look at that hot mom breastfeeding! Man I’d like to lick that nipple too!” Maybe I’m not seeing something here… but the sight of a breast is totally different than breastfeeding… I dont’ think that is a turn on to at least most men…..

    • Breastfeeding is never-EVER- about the needs of the mother. It’s about the needs of a baby.
      I don’t know what awesomely sanitary public bathrooms you frequent, but very few I have ever been in would I consider clean enough to urinate in, much less eat.

    • M. Katz I agree with you, I feel some of these women know it offends people but they believe because they have babies and older children their needs are more important than anyone elses’s. You see it in the department stores when 2 or 3 of them have their children in strollers and take up an entire aisle and expect you to move because they have children. It’s a shame that they have to be out and about with their children everywhere and all the time especially when shopping or going to nice restaurants. You say it’s normal and natural but there are alot of things that are normal and natural that I don’t think most of you would want to see at you dinner table. If you have to breastfeed on the run and you can’t find anywhere to go (like home) than of course no one would begrudge you breast feeding in a restaurant. But please get off you soap box and stop telling the rest of us it’s our problem we already know if you have a baby the world takes a back seat.

      • Polly, you are absolutely correct on two fronts: 1. Yes, I know it offends you, and I don’t care. 2. My son’s needs are 100% more important to me than yours.

      • Oh! Those women with the strollers blocking the isle! They are as bad as those people in wheelchairs wanting buttons to open the doors for them! Taking up extra space! Needing special bathroom stalls! Expecting special parking spaces! Why can’t they just stay home!……… Because society should value all people that’s why.

        With holding the ability to breast feed as needed is a feminist issue. “Use formula and be more like a man: women (doing female only things) are disgusting” is the ultimate message.

      • Erin B…. I think men should get those strap on breast feeding things and be more like women! 🙂

        I agree with you Erin… as moms we might be wrangling up our kids…. but how are they going to learn to function in life if they don’t see their parents do it?

      • Oh my goodness…you really believe this crap don’t you! Hungry babies are right up there with strollers blocking aisles! they have small stomachs, babies, and they need food or they become distressed…since when is it OK for you to not expect to give them basic human rights and respect. They’re not baby animals, you complete moron, they’re baby humans! Your rights to “not be offended” by breasts doing the job they were made for DOES NOT override the baby’s right to be fed when hungry. You are both people, and you are capable of looking elsewhere or getting over yourself. The baby is not. If you murder a baby – it is still murder. They aren’t sort of unentitled to rights till they can vote, for crying out loud…and yes, they are entitled to use the freaking aisles in the supermarket! JUST LIKE YOU! My goodness…go back and get under your rock.

    • I think breastfeeding in public doesn’t bother me as much as Mom’s attitude. Its screw you, so what if you want a nice quiet dinner don’t expect me to stay home just because I have a baby. My needs are much more important than anyone else’s.

      • polly, I am failing to see how a mother nursing her child at her table at a restaurant prevents you from enjoying a nice quiet dinner…?

      • It is evident that you know NOTHING about nursing. If you did, you would know that a mother nursing her child will let you have your nice, quiet dinner. A mother who doesn’t, will have a screaming baby. Ironic is it? Or rather, ignorance as I see it.

    • Awesome & bravo! Betcha alotta them self rightous, incarcerated folk share an opinion very similiar

    • Why then, don’t you start taking your meals in all the bathrooms?? I don’t like fat people in tight clothing…I think you are pushing your views on me…now I am offended.

      • And after my computer finishes my post for me…grrr…my point was I don’t like looking at fat people in too tight of clothing…yet that never seems to be an issue with you people…only a little bit of boob…unless its some sexpot celebraty…oooo, then that’s hot. Whatever.

    • Honestly, I find it completely ridiculous to equate nursing a child (natural, necessary and not something that can wait) with talking on a cell phone. As a mother, I prioritize my child’s need to eat over someone else’s comfort. I am acutely aware of my legal right to breastfeed in public. Urination, however, is not something legal in public. As long as you (and others like you) continue to think it is even on the same level to compare elimination of bodily fluids with eating, then we’re losing the argument. I certainly hope that going forward, out of respect to others around you, since you feel that children eating is disgusting and offensive, that you can restrict your eating to a restroom stall. There is a difference between saying :”You are an adult, you can manage your discomfort and learn to handle it” and saying “screw them”.

11. I’m from the UK and have 2 kids and have been breastfeeding for 4 years and still counting. I always breastfeed in public, where ever and when ever my baby needs. I’v not had much problem in the UK, iv never been told to leave or anything like that. But I have had disgusted looks off of teenage girls and once i was walking through Primark ( don’t know if you have that store in the US but it’s a really really cheap clothes shop so you can imagine the sort of people it attracts ) so i was walking round the store while breastfeeding my son and 2 young girls, maybe 16 or 17 years old, with a baby of their own in a buggy walked past me and the one pushing the buggy said to the other really loudly so i could hear as they walked by ” OH MY GOD, look at that, that’s disgusting!” all i could think was i feel really sorry for that baby being brought up by such an ignorant mother. No doubt that child will grow up in an unstable environment without a decent education and become another drain on the state when they get pregnant at 14 or end up in jail. Poor child, destined to fail by bad parents. ( I know that’s a really stereotypical thing to say and maybe she’s a really good mum and is married with the father and providing the child with a loving stable home and she’ll go on to graduate from university and get a proper job and contribute to society like the rest of us, but i seriously doubt it )
    But apart from that i think things in the UK are generally better that the US when it comes to breastfeeding. From what i’v heard on the net anyway. The maternity hospitals are very pro breastfeeding, mine was at least ( in Scotland specifically ) , and they give lots of help and support both in the hospital and afterwards at home. I’v only had good comments by staff while out in cafes never anything negative, not to my face anyway!
    There are still a lot of mothers who choose to formula feed, mostly from poorer backgrounds which doesn’t really make sense as it’s cheaper to breastfeed! But I know a lot of women intend to breastfeed but have problems in the beginning and switch to formula, i think that’s the same everywhere. I had problems in the beginning with my first, i had cracked bleeding nipples and was reduced to tears at every feed from the pain. But i just grit my teeth and got on with it as i didn’t see there being any other option but to breastfeed, and after the first few weeks things started getting better. Too many women give up too quickly IMO.

    But good article, you made very good points. The more women who breastfeed in public the more normal it will become, like it’s supposed to be, normal and natural and what boobs are for! It’s the sexualisation of breasts that’s the problem, not breastfeeding. Boobs are everywhere we look, in advertisements, on tv, at the beach, in department stores, they are literally everywhere. Why a mother feeding her child could be offensive to anyone is beyond me. They are just ignorant morons.

    • It is such a cop-out to assume that anyone who doesn’t agree with your point of view is an “ignorant moron”. To steal your line of reasoning, I feel sorry for people who can’t admit that there are 2 sides most issues. This isn’t gay marriage or public art, where there are moral obligations involved, it’s an issue of convenience. To say “whatever my baby needs” implies your baby will die without immediate public breast-feeding, when the truth is otherwise. Your baby needs nutrition, and you can decide where breastfeeding occurs. The fact that you don’t care about the feelings of other people is obvious, but those people are not necessarily horrible and destined to ruin their children’s lives. I don’t know if you have Fox News in the UK, but this sort of one-sidedness belongs there.

      • “You can decide where breastfeeding occurs.” Are you hearing yourself? I can’t tell a 6 month old, oh honey, we’ll be home in 30 minutes, can you just wait until then?

      • You just aren’t getting it – the point is that there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public. Nothing. Not one shred of wrongdoing. Those who do not agree with that statement are in fact ignorant. They are completely ignorant and need to educate themselves in order to change their own thinking. Your problem with a baby eating is YOUR problem. If it is a struggle for you, then avert your eyes.

      • Waiting longer to feed baby creates a supply/demand problem. It seriously does and for those who don’t grasp that can say, “oh waiting [this long] won’t hurt” when in actuality it DOES. So what do I do on an airplane? Squeeze myself into the jon in the back of the plane? Ask to get up and go…where? Just for example. My own husband has asked to just breastfeed in the car…where the window and the door switches and people walking by and the glove box and the seat and the seat belt and OH LOOK a bird and the clouds and trees and parking lot lights are MORE of a distraction than just sitting on a bench inside the establishment (or outside if a bench is available and it’s nice weather) will get the deed done quicker and more efficiently. I cannot tell you how many times the above situation happened and left me not able to let down…therefore not able to feed her. Stress can delay let down. Being uncomfortable can affect let down. The majority do not go out of their way to purposely offend. Like I stated already, I don’t want a label, I just want to feed my baby.

      • I disagree, I think there ARE some moral obligations involved with breastfeeding. How do you know what people’s beliefs are? And it’s a nutritional and health and even emotional obligation as well. I’m not going to let my baby starve because I can’t find anywhere ‘suitable’ to nurse. To a small baby they don’t understand about waiting 30 minutes to get home. To them, they are starving to death. If you bottle fed, you wouldn’t just wait until you got home. You’d pop out a bottle wherever you were! I won’t neglect my child just because someone is uncomfortable with me nursing.

      • Also, if I can decide where breastfeeding occurs, can’t you decide where you look with your eyes? Looking away would be a whole lot easier!

      • Really, though, M. Katz, in what way is this so different from gay marriage or public art (I mean, other than the silly little fact that breastfeeding sustains life and nourishes a child who has no concept of where you might be when he gets hungry, or who is around who might get offended by him eating?)? People will be offended by all three. And perhaps my baby will not die without immediate public breast-feeding – but will the gay couple who holds hands as they walk down the street *die* without immediate public hand-holding? Will the artist of a nude drawing *die* without immediate public art-exhibiting? All of these things are “issues of convenience” *and* “moral issues.” I am not understanding why you say that breastfeeding in public *is not* a moral issue. My baby has a right to eat in its preferred way (in public or not), just as any couple has a right to hold hands with their preferred partner (in public or not). The mere fact that some intolerant people get offended by one or the other situation does not negate or erase the rights or needs or even desires of the “offending” party. Your right to be offended (and yes, it is your right to be offended) should not infringe on my right to feed my infant (or hold my partner’s hand, or whatever). You can choose what to do with your offense, but I won’t allow you to take away my rights because you are offended.

      • Sometimes I think it’s the attitude like Mom’s that I find so offensive. Screw everyone me and my baby are more important than you wanting to have a quiet dinner because I’m not going to let having a baby stop me from having a good time.

      • People like her believe that they can and will dictate what a society thinks.

      • Ummm…the baby is not able to regulate it’s emotions or distress, the way gay couples can control themselves without handholding (although shouldn’t be expected to). Since when did we start giving those most defenceless the least help? They won’t die, but they will experience distress…who wants that for a baby? What the hell is wrong with you people – just so your lunch can be uninterrupted you are happy to see a baby screaming with hunger and distress while the poor mum tries to squeeze herself into a public toilet…FFS! Really? Do you drown kittens for sport on weekends too or are you just fucked up and evil to human babies?

    • I suppose I’m just ignorant and useless to society for staying home to raise my own children, not let someone else with a “proper job” do it for me. I suppose I’m ignorant for being old fashioned and getting married young, to have a family. I suppose I’m ignorant for shielding my children from indecency, including the indecency in media which is so accepted. Perhaps she nursed her children AND shielded them from exposed parts, perhaps she did believe breasts were for the husband first. Is it so ridiculous for someone to believe that? We were not created to be in a relationship with a man, before we birthed children?

      • THANK YOU EMILY!!!!! EXACTLY!!!

      • Yes, it is stupid to assume that breasts were “for the husband first.” Breasts will automatically produce milk around the time of labor whether the mother makes a conscious choice to breastfeed or not. Boobs don’t however go up a cup size the night of your wedding. So in my book, no, boobs are not destined for husband’s first but for babies first. My man understands that the moment our son was born they owned a timeshare together and I was the landlord.

      • Ummm…don’t be ridiculous and painful with your first statement. That’s the chip on your own shoulder, we didn’t put it there. This is a pro-breastfeeding (pro-Mum) post…or didn’t you get the memo. Fine also that you married young. Fucking horrifying that you did so believing you needed to be with a man to be anything, that your body parts were designed for anyone but yourself, and that you are basically believing (and teaching your children) that women are men’s playthings. If marrying young caused that then no, I don’t think it was a great idea but I suspect the chicken predated the egg. I really hope when you get a little older you get some self respect and empower yourself, and that you teach your children – especially your girls – that they are themselves, not anyone’s toy, and your boys that women are firstly to be respected as people, not sex objects, and that they shouldn’t need to split body parts off to objectify women. Looking at Beyonce’s knockers, however distasteful, would be preferable. Oh, and that early teaching about women being playthings…is not going to help when you’re trying to keep them off internet porn. After all, their own mother is just their father’s toy. Right?

12. I wish someone had supported me back in the 70’s when I breastfed for only 7 weeks because Christmas was coming and I had family to entertain and didn’t know how to “go away” to feed my baby and take care of everybody too.

    • That is so true 😦 Support is the key and it’s comments like this that remind us how sometimes others didn’t get the same choices we have. That was in your own home and we are talking about in public. Thanks for sharing 🙂

13. If someone complains let your baby cry during their dinner. They will quickly lose any qualms about public breast feeding .

    • EXACTLY! Both of my boys have flown across the country as babies and didn’t make a peep. I would love to get these people on a plane with a bunch of hungry screaming babies and then ask if they would rather see the offensive boob or keep listening to the screaming. I seriously can’t believe these comments. I have never had one person say anything to me while nursing in public. “Men who lust…” I am in shock.

      • Worse, Carrie…she is married to the demon of lust . To be fair, she’s doing penance daily.

    • LOL Quite Right!

14. It took a bit of doing to start my daughter breastfeeding properly, but once she started, it was well worth it. I have been in a restaurant where I was nursing my daughter, and a woman at the other table leaned over and asked interestedly, “How DO you keep that baby so quiet?” She was about 4 feet away, and had no idea I was breastfeeding. I had no blanket cover, but I had lots of clothing from Motherwear. Nursing tops and bras helped me a lot.

15. Hope to end the whole bathroom feeding thing. Did you know that health officials recommend that you store your tooth brush at least 20 feet away from you toilet? A toilet in a single flush can disperse particles up to 20 feet away.
    Eat you sandwich in there now.

    • Hahahaha!! I brought up this same topic! It’s disgusting.

16. I have never had a child but I fully agree with the fact that the Rest Room IS NOT a safe place for a mother and infant to do a feeding. I don’t care if she is covered either the warm weather is coming and the last thing anyone needs is to feel over heated durring a meal.

17. Thank you, thank you for this blog post. I absolutely LOVE it! I hope that you are able to become a national spokes person for breastfeeding mothers. We need people to start standing up for the right thing. Where I live there have been several nurse-ins so far due to people asking nursing mothers to leave. Thank you for this!

18. I love women like you. I’m a waitress and let me tell you, I’d rather see a woman breastfeeding her child (as long as its not a Time-magazine breast-feeding scenario; a line has to be drawn somewhere), than look at a man chew with his mouth open…or a business man take off his shoes under the table…or deal with a screaming baby because he’s hungry. Thanks for this post.

    oliveoildiaries.com

19. So when did the child’s comfort ever come into play here with these arguments of “others are uncomfortable”.

    Well, I’m sorry. You are (most likely) an adult and can deal with it. A newborn knows only a few things – it’s mother and food. A baby is highly distracted at a lot but can’t just get over using a cover. Like, “Hey mom, it’s cool…I don’t mind you covering my head while I have my meal…I’ll just tap the tent when I’m done, oki doki?” – NO! And a toddler…well, a tent to a toddler is fun time. Screw boobs, lets PLAY. Then that is when most likely a boob will be flashed.

    But yeah, YOUR level of comfort is more important than a baby who knows no concept of patience. It kind of falls on the same lines of taking a bullet so your child will live. You lived a while, your child hasn’t. So how about giving the baby some respect, huh? It’s NOT about the mother NIP, it’s about the baby. So instead of targeting the mother…target the baby. Yeah, I know…that’s stupid right? Then shut. Up and deal with it. Move, go elsewhere, look away. You are in control of what you subject your eyes to. No one is standing there holding your eyes open and even if they did, you still have the ability to roll your eyes around in your eye sockets…just. look. away.

    And a bathroom. Really, that argument has absolutely no credit what-so-ever! I’ve YET to see a restroom that was suitable for anything other that, well, eliminating waste. Not at airports, malls, and certainly not elsewhere. I admit I breastfed my newborn whilst taking a leak in the first week I was on bed rest after having tears from birth stitched – in my own bathroom. I had no choice. If I put her down she screamed and that my friends wasn’t gonna happen for several reasons I won’t go in to (for those of you who say, “Just put her down” – live that week in my life and see if you feel the same afterwards). You can put your make up on in a bathroom, sure…but eat? No. I don’t care how many times it’s cleaned, it’s dirty. Especially since there are no lids on any of the toilets (not the ones I’ve been in). Do you know what happens when you flush? If you notice, look closely, but often times you’ll see sprinkles of water flying up. When you go #2, the bacteria from that is spread around the toilet. You know what, this is pointless. I’m done.

    Get over it. End of story.

20. I feel like mothers who breastfeed in public ARE being discreet. They aren’t taking off their whole shirt and bra and sitting topless in a restaurant. They are briefly exposing a single breast in order to feed their child.

21. I’m speaking as a man and as a father. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with a woman breastfeeding in public but I do think that women should cover themselves. You wouldn’t be suffocating your child if (s)he were under a blanket for a few minutes. I know that you can’t always know when you’re going to have to feed your child but breast pumps were made for a reason. If you are lactating enough milk such that you can feed your child at the drop of a hat in public then you have enough milk that you can pump at home/in private in your (very little) spare time and have a few bottles available. And do you really want to have what’s supposed to be a bonding moment between mother and child ruined by onlookers and complainers? Breastfeeding out in the park is much different than breastfeeding in a restaurant or a store so you have to be mindful that different rules apply in different places. Parks are public but stores and restaurants are businesses and as such they can dictate how a person can behave and remain in those establishments. But at the end of the day is covering yourself really that offensive a request?

    • Please read my response further down on how pumping and planning around feeding is counterproductive to maintaining breastfeeding. Also, yes it’s offensive. When you tell someone to cover anything up, you’re saying it shouldn’t be seen. And you’re also being presumptuous.

    • Ramis, it doesn’t matter where a woman is whether it be a park or a restaurant, they can not dictate anything as it is the law. Further more, have you ever encountered a women trying to use a cover when the child will not tolerate it? Also, some women just do not repspond to pumps even though they make enough milk to provide their child. Also, after a certain period, a mother only makes what the child needs. So please, do your research before making such comments when it’s clear you don’t know what you’re talking about.

    • I ask you the same: is covering yourself really that offensive a request? If you are so offended at the sight of my baby eating, you are free to carry around a light blanket everywhere you go so you can cover yourself at the first sight of a baby getting ready to latch. It’s not like you would be “suffocating… if [you] were under a blanket for a few minutes” (and if, by your thoughts on pumping and milk supply, I wasn’t already convinced you have no experience with breastfed infants, your ideas about how long it takes a baby to breastfeed (a few minutes? Really?) convince me.).

      • My babe takes 45 minutes to nurse.
        A lot more time than *I* would ever want to be under a blanket.
        Or sit in a bathroom, eating, for that matter.

    • Wow. “As a man” you are clearly displaying your complete ignorance for how much work pumping is. I barely have time to poop, let alone pump. Seriously.
      Furthermore, pumps cost money. And giving a bottle in lieu of feeding can hurt supply. Not to mention that many women do NOT respond to a pump.
      I’m sure glad there are men like my partner who not only support breastfeeding, but encourage it.

      • How long does it take to suffocate, exactly, anyway?

22. Love the article! I’m nursing my 22-month old with no end in sight! The only thing I must say is that low supply is not a medical lie. I believed that & turned out to be starving my daughter for the first 4 weeks of her life because I refused to believe I wasn’t making enough. Lucky for us, we figured it out & used a combination of donor milk & formula to help her thrive.

    • I am guessing she is probably talking about how wide spread this is now. The amount of people who actually have a genuine low supply is very, very small. The rest are being informed by uninformed doctors and nurses who don’t know because they just don’t have the knowledge. So, women are being told they have low supply when they don’t. Just like women are being told “your baby is going to be 10 pounds! we better do a c section!”

23. ❤ ❤ ❤ this!
    Thank you for so aptly and succinctly expressing what so many of us are struggling with daily. I consider myself a very kind and conscientious person. But you know what is more difficult than struggling with an upset, hungry baby under a hot, tangling nursing cover? Childbirth. World peace. I think that's about it. Very little. It isn't just a pain in the butt; nursing uncovered, at least in many states, is legally protected, even if, heaven forbid, a nip-slip (oh my word!) occurs before, during, or after the baby gets latched.

    For anyone that says a bathroom is fine, please get a culture swab and go swab the handle of the door on your nearest public restroom, then tell me again how clean it is.

    Lastly, while a female breast is more full in shape than a male pectoral and breast tissue, a nipple is a nipple is a nipple, yet somehow a female nipple on television is obscene, while a bare male torso, nipples and all, is perfectly allowable on the city street or public beach on a hot summer day.

    ok, i'm done ranting.

    • You my dear, are so correct! “A nipple is a nipple is a nipple”!!! 🙂

24. “Being offended is a fancy way of saying that you can’t handle your own feelings. ”

    Thank you.

    This is awesome. I love all of this.

    • I agree with her premise, but let’s be realistic, this blog post was written out of being offended at the point of view that NIP is offensive to some. Thanking her just validates that you are offended by the same concept and have solidarity against it. I don’t blame you, I agree with your perspective, but there is nothing wrong with being offended about things.

      War is offensive. Murder is offensive. Hate is offensive.

    • Now I’m realizing I may have misread that.

25. Your post is fantastic, and I absolutely agree that NIP is perfectly normal, but I did take issue with the concept that there is no room for being offended in this country.

    That is the antithesis of our country. Everyone has the right to be offended, as long as they keep it to themselves. I’m sure you are offended by intolerant people who are perfectly capable of rational thought, as many of us are.

    I get that you want to express your views, but minimizing your opposition takes you down to their level and detracts from a lot of really great information.

    • I think the point was that we don’t have legal protection against being offended by another person’s legal actions. Or if we are offended our rights do not automatically supersede another person’s right, in this case a nursing mother who in most states has the legal right to breastfeed wherever she has the legal right to physically be.

26. I agree with all of this except:
    “Even the world’s biggest dickheads understand that you don’t get to ask interracial couples to sit in the back or tell gay couples to stop holding hands.”

    That’s not true at all. Gay people are often harassed to “stop holding hands” even in accepting cities: http://outlookcolumbus.com/2013/01/14907/

27. The sad thing is that it’s mostly women who have problems with other women breastfeeding in public. I have heard women call breastfeeding “gross” and they “feel weird” about their babies sucking on their boobs. Men don’t really care that much, if all women would grow up we could be over this stupid issue with breastfeeding in public (the fact that it’s an issue is stupid, not breastfeeding).

28. Mama, I don’t know you, but I think I love you!

29. One thing that I hear a lot that wasn’t addressed; “Why don’t you just pump a bottle?” 1. Some women can’t. 2. Pumps, bottles, etc. are expensive. 3. It can really hurt your supply. 4. It can cause latch issues, nipple confusion. 5. Um, why should I have to?

30. You are of the opinion that your opinion is the only one that matters and that anyone that disagrees with you is an idiot. Well, here’s the other side of the coin. I can’t have kids. When I see kids with their moms I feel an intense jealousy. When I see mothers nursing their babies I feel a pain I can not describe to you. If I happen to be with my husband I feel that I have robbed him of being a father. Even though he disagrees with that, the feelings remain. It’s an experience I will never have. Thanks for throwing it in my face every time I turn around.

    • Karen, did you know that mothers who adopt can induce lactation and feed their adopted babies from the breast also?

    • Karen, my heart aches for you. And the woman that posted this is not throwing it in your face that you can’t bare children, she is saying she doesn’t care if people don’t like mothers who nurse in public. I hope someday you can find peace with your struggles or are able to adopt and lactate for your child. There are plenty of children out there who need your love and one day you will find the child that is yours, whether you give birth to them or not.

    • Karen, I am sorry for your heartbreak, I truly am. But your pain will not prevent me from being with my children in public. The fact that I have children is painful to you, and I completely understand and empathize with that, but the truth is that it would probably be painful for you to see me interacting with my children in any capacity, not merely by breastfeeding. Me laughing with my kids, hugging them and kissing them, pushing them on the swings – all of that is “throwing it in [your] face” just as much as me breastfeeding my child, so should I not do any of these things, either, our of respect for those who can’t have children? My father has Parkinson’s disease and can never again hold his grandchildren (my children), and will soon not be able to even speak their names. Does it break my whole heart every time I see grandparents enjoying their grandchildren, holding them and chasing them around the playground? Does it break my heart when my friends’ kids get to have sleepovers with their grandparents and my kids never will? Absolutely. But expecting people to never “be grandparents” around me because my kids won’t ever have that is not only unrealistic, it is selfish and even a bit ridiculous. Just because my heart breaks over an experience I/my kids will never have doesn’t mean those who do have it shouldn’t be able to experience it or enjoy it in front of me…

31. I live in Italy and I have literally never had a problem breastfeeding in public over here – except from the occasional American tourist.

    When I went back to the states to visit my family, well that was another story. It’s amazing to me how a population of people can be so far removed from their own humanity. Perhaps it is too much to get the masses to understand what is normal when they don’t even question the integrity of what they put into their own mouths.

    Thank you for being a badass and let me know by email if you ever find yourself in Rome!

    • I also live in Europe, in the UK, and we just don’t have this fuss at all. No issue. Women breastfeed all the time and nobody bats an eye. If anything, they get fond looks and compliments on their baby. It shows how much this issue depends on what people take to be normal, and I’m sorry you have such trouble, because being mum to a young baby is quite hard enough work already!

32. Pingback: Kristine Rudolph » Explore More : March 15th·

33. I want carry this article with me whenever I NIP to give me the confidence to stand up to anyone who dares comment. My bite-your-face-off attitude would come out as a church mouse obliging to go to the restroom to NIP, then I’d be furious I did. Thanks for the empowerment!

34. I personally preferred to be covered up when nursing in public, but my concern is with the tone of this argument and not the fundamental principle you are advocating. It smacks of selfishness and disrespect for the world around you. That is not how I want to raise my children. The world does not revolve around us, we need to do whatever we can to help one another and be compassionate. I wouldn’t judge you for choosing to feed your child in public, but I don’t think people who don’t share your view are automatically morons who need to change to your way of thinking. If everyone acted like you are describing in this post, there would never be any compromise, and all of life would be discord. Not a happy world to live in.

    • Correct. I knew that certain people were uncomfortable with me nursing without covering up, so I did. It’s called respect. It’s not a damn statement!

      • Must be tiring southernhon doing everything everyone else wants all the time…do you apply that to your kids or is it just strangers you are most concerned about the opinions and feelings of?

    • No, if everyone cared about the feelings and rights of those who can’t speak for themselves, and we treated our children with respect, love and kindness…you’re right. The world would be a very different place. I would freaking love to live in one just like that…so I am raising my child as a person, not a small facsimile of one with no rights, whose desires and needs can be ignored because adults are more important. That’s how you raise selfish people. You put adult needs first and show them how it is done from the get go.

35. I appreciate the sentiment. I shake my head daily that this even needs to be said.
    I certainly don’t think everyone who thinks a woman should cover is an idiot though.. I think there are folks who are just uncomfortable as a product of their upbringing. It’s an unfortunate side effect of American cultural norms. It’s less about them being an idiot and more about a different kind of normal. The more of us who NIP, with or without a cover, the more normal it will become.
    I do have to ask what you mean by the medical myth of low supply? I have IGT. I have tried everything under the sun to breastfeed (on to my third baby now) fully but I (along with thousands of other women suffering from IGT and other causes of chronic low supply) cannot bring my supply up to a level needed to fully support a baby.
    Thank goodness for donor milk and an SNS. My third baby won’t even take a bottle. He is fully fed and supplemented at the breast. And I do that in public too. Uncovered.

    • The myth of low supply is a plague on nursing moms. Of course there are cases like your case where there is an actual medical issue causing low output, but those cases are so rare, few and far between. The other 98% of low supply problems are caused by moms getting bad info from doctors (they are told to schedule feedings, not let baby nurse more than X minutes, supplement with formula of weight gain doesn’t match exactly what they want, introduce early solids, etc). All those recommendations (and countless terrible others) are regularly made by doctors, none of them make any sense, and they all CAUSE low milk supply. And then they diagnose low milk supply after they’ve caused it instead of just helping a woman increase her supply, which is actually quite easy for someone who has no other contributing factors like yourself. I’m glad to hear you’ve found donor milk! Too many women don’t even know about it.

      • I figured that’s what you meant and I agree wholeheartedly. As a doula and one who works extensively in our community with lactating moms, I see these pitfalls in action all the time. It’s really unfortunately.
        I don’t want to appear butt hurt and only wished to high light that not all low supply is fixable. Though I wish this could go without saying, there really are several people in the world who truly believe those of us struggling to feed their babies are just not trying hard enough.
        I would argue that current research puts those with biological reasons for milk supply issues to be around 5%, possibly more, which doesn’t include those who have had damage to their breasts (reduction, accidents, etc). Though we all know we won’t get correct numbers until a higher percentage of women are nursing.

    • Go you…I have so much respect for mums with IGT…love donating milk for them. P.S. Yes morons, we milk share too, like mothers have since time immemorial without judgement or drama…go wild…knock yourselves out!

      • I’ve gotten a lot of ignorant commentary on us using donor milk.. Meh. Seems a lot stranger to me to rely on a cow to feed my baby. 🙂

      • I know, right??? I won’t give my baby milk from a strange woman, but a strange cow is cool….um….

      • Fascinating discussion, as a dairy farmer whose wife breastfed 4 kids for a total of 14 years, one thing I haven’t heard anyone mention is that, like cows, some women, like one family we know, can’t seem to successfully breastfeed because the babies lose weight & I highly suspect it’s because they have very low fat milk! Now, as we know from cows, a fattening diet, one high in fiber for cows, or maybe one high in carbs for women, should up the butterfat %age! I suspect this family were eating a healthy, nonfattenig diet while trying to feed! Just in case it helps someone, since like with cows, breastmilk must vary in BF between individuals & who knows, maybe between races! But diet definately effects it!

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37. Ok as someone who doesn’t have kids I just want to say this. Even though I plan to have kids, I don’t think it’s fair to put yourself up on a pedestal like the whole world is ignorant when they give you a look while you nurse in public. I personally think that as much as it is natural, it is also a bonding moment with your child. And yes, you have the right to stay uncovered. I believe that is YOUR choice, but to say that a little cover is going to suffocate your child is being a little extreme just to argue a point. I actually know many mothers that have all been absolutely fine with covering. To me it shows that you are not only attentive to your child’s needs, but also respectful to the people around you. I think adults are more than capable of controlling themselves, but children may be confused by what they see. I’m sure your thinking “well just explain to them what breastfeeding is so they won’t grow up as another” waste with kids of their own at 14″ which I think is laughable that someone actually said that because it just shows the selfish mentality some people have.. But having to explain to a 6 year old why they just saw an exposed breast is in my opinion not an appropriate age for them to even need to know about subject matter of that nature. As legal as it may be.. You should understand as much as you are comfortable with it, some people aren’t. Doesn’t make them ignorant, it just means that maybe others deserve the same respect that you so begrudgingly desire. Don’t be so quick to dismiss the opinions of others just because you think yours is right. Some of these comments get so ugly that I hate even bothering to read them because I feel it really doesn’t go anywhere. People can hide behind their computers and make their asinine remarks, but the only point you really need to say is that you are free to do what you want. Period.

    • Is anyone else a little confused as to what Tru was trying to say? Do love your first statement though, sweetheart, at least you’re honest. And, my dear, I do hope one day you will look down as you sweat in a crowded restaurant or food court with a grumpy baby, whose cries of distress make your breasts squirt milk everywhere, while you fumble and trying to get your nursing cover in the right position as your baby tries even harder to pull at it and kick it off, hungry and thirsty, and very outraged at this thing stopping him from looking around while he eats, with the whole shopping centre or restaurant looking at you because your baby is SO loud and upset…and think…screw covering up, I just need to get this baby latched on before I squirt random strangers with milk/baby loses the plot/my clothes or contents of my handbag end up all over the floor. And then, my dear, I hope you remember your comments on this thread and have the decency to laugh at your former self;-) Things I thought I would do before baby and things I do now = different.

    • If all 6year olds already knew what breasts were for it wouldn’t be a big deal and we wouldn’t need this post. Shielding children from breastfeeding is doing them a disservice and partly why we are in this mess of oversexualizing breasts in the first place. So yeah, telling you future children what that woman is doing is the most appropriate scenario there is.

    • It strikes me as odd that there is a concern that children learn how they were fed as babies?

    • I agree with Tru’s observation that for a blog that’s asking (demanding) others’ acceptance, there sure are some extremist and uncompromising comments. Please, let’s be respectful of each other, both in regards to our individual choices and in allowing a civil exchange of dialogue.

38. Goodness I am so annoyed reading some of these posts. Since when did breasts become primarily for sex and secondarily for babies? It’s so WEIRD! I’m sorry to be racially discriminatory but there’s some real skewed thinking in America…it’s sort of creepy actually. Why is it we’re at the “top of the food chain” but the only mammal who is curtailed from feeding our babies milk wherever, whenever? Jeepers, girls, we deserve better treatment and more respect than monkeys – don’t we??? Maybe not!

    • I love how people are so quick to come up with random scenarios that are not at all likely to happen in that extreme way. I understand that some people feel the need to NIP and that’s completely your choice as I said. But it just continues to prove my point that it’s easier for you to lash out rather than respect what I have to say. I can sense the condescending tone.. Dear.. Sweetheart… But just because I haven’t experienced breastfeeding, doesn’t mean that I won’t be aware of o”thers around me. And it’s definitely unfair to tell people how they should live. So that lady that posted she is unable to have children.. All the sudden she should adopt and lactate to feed her child? Why? So she can conform to YOUR belief? All I was trying to say is everyone has an opinion on it and who are you to judge someone else on theirs? I should have known better than to continue reading when the title of this post alone “suck on this” already steering towards a negative outburst to anyone that may not agree. How wrong of me to think there could be a civil argument without feeling like my thought in the matter would be considered.

      • Tru. Firstly, it’s not at all random. I bet all the breastfeeding mothers who read it are laughing and shaking their heads. Somewhere, some day, it will happen to you, if you breastfeed, which I encourage…although that leads me to my second point. How am I telling people how they should live? In fact, it’s you telling me how I should live. Why do you care how or when I feed my baby? As long as I do feed my baby, why should it be anyone else’s business? Butt out of my breastfeeding relationship! Thirdly…you can read condescending into it or you can assume, which you should, that I am a lot older than you, and I have lots of compassion for your spirited opinions about things you haven’t experienced and can’t yet imagine. Apparently. However…if you like it better this way…you have no idea what you’re talking about so, to be honest, STFU till you do…you just sound silly. I don’t respect, or not respect what you have to say…in fact, as I mentioned, I don’t really understand WHAT you were trying to say. Your post is really confused. Try condensing it to a single line mission statement and then I’ll tell you whether I do, or don’t agree. Who am I to judge…? I’m at least, a breastfeeding mother – so I have the experience, which you don’t, and secondly, the law says so, so I have that on my side too. You may well think the law is an ass but sadly, it’s not in your favour at this point. And, finally, the crazy notions you seem to have – firstly, that children will be damaged by seeing human mothers feed their babies but we’re OK to take them to the zoo where they can watch the animals do it – is downright weird. Children won’t be “damaged” by watching normal breastfeeding. they will just grow up thinking it is normal for human babies to drink human milk. Which it is. Secondly, the implied idea that somehow when I’m trying to feed my baby I am somehow flaunting myself, or being disrespectful. I am neither, nor have I ever seen any breastfeeding mother who is (and I know a lot of them). Most people don’t even realise I am breastfeeding when I do…and when you compare that to the underwear catalogues supermarkets send out, I am far better…why aren’t you targeting them, or better still, some of those girls or boys walking around with their underwear or worse, their butt crack showing. Now that’s indiscreet. If you feel lashed out at now, have another read…I’m simply responding to your points. If you can’t have a valid debate without getting hurting feelings and taking things personally…perhaps the internet is not for you. Stick to read only mode.

39. I think my confusion started with the phrase “begrudgingly desire”…so maybe explain that first.

40. I actually do respect what you have to say and that’s the difference. Again.. I believe if you decide to NIP it is your choice. As for me, experienced or not,, you shouldn’t be so angry towards someone with an opinion. And I never once used the term “damaged”.. You’re putting words in my mouth to try and better serve your argument. My point was that in some circumstances, children may be confused BECAUSE we are actually hiding such things as media nudity, porn.. Etc. So not that it is sexual but that may be why you get looks as well.. Lol the fact that you jump down my throat over a freedom you already have is pretty rediculous but I was hoping just to express that there are other people with different views.

    • I guess, Tru, your statement early in the piece…”I actually know many mothers that have all been absolutely fine with covering. To me it shows that you are not only attentive to your child’s needs, but also respectful to the people around you. I think adults are more than capable of controlling themselves, but children may be confused by what they see.” is pretty disrespectful. You see, it implies that by choosing to breastfeed without a cover I lack respect for those around me. That just isn’t true. I have plenty of respect for them and I hope they feel the same way. I would never impose on a breastfeeding relationship between a mother and child, nor judge anyone else’s, or those who can’t or choose not to breastfeed. However, despite the fact you yourself admit you have no children, you’re coming straight out of the blocks with judgement, on a topic of which you have no personal experience. If that isn’t disrespectful, I don’t know what is. You confuse anger for an ability to debate the topic. You are welcome to your opinion, as long as you understand that it is contrary to the legal position of all governments, even those that demand their women cover everything but their eyes – yes, funny isn’t that – they consider hair alluring but breasts are for babies and noone minds – yet we consider them backward??! It is also disrespectful to breastfeeding women, to imply that they lack respect in putting their babies first, or that they should consider anyone’s needs but their children’s, and to imply that they are thoughtless when really mothers with screaming babies have enough to worry about. You sound quite selfish and thoughtless yourself, actually, to be honest, so please leave off with the “I’m just presenting the other view”. What about some compassion and even support for mothers who are reducing the load on the medical system by breastfeeding. They lower your taxes, so show some respect. Your comments about sexuality are, again, confused, but if you’re going where I think you’re going, you are quite screwed up. Porn and breastfeeding do not belong in the same paragraph in relation to each other. As to why “I get looks as well”. I don’t. I love in a normal country – Australia – where breastfeeding is normal, and we don’t have all this weird religious overtoned creepiness. Also, since I am breastfeeding a 15 month old, noone can see anything because her head is in the way. but don’t let the facts get in the way of a good story, huh? I am still confused about begrudgingly desire, please do explain.

    • P.S. Obviously I missed the part where you demonstrated some respect for my opinions…could you refresh my memory?

      • If you find it “creepy” that someone else has an opinion other than your own, then I think you have an issue. My interest for joining the conversation was because I have a lot of family, aunts and cousins who never squirted milk everywhere as you say while they were breastfeeding. I didn’t feel like I had to put that information out there. You don’t know me just as much as I don’t know you. So it sounds like you prejudge. Please don’t take what I say as disrespect towards you personally, my previous statements were trying to explain that it is NOT wrong to simply prefer to see that someone is willing to cover up. And from seeing how my family has managed to do it, I felt somewhat compelled to say something. I don’t see the reasoning for such rage to dispute how much you disagree when you already have the right to do whatever you choose. Sorry for getting you flustered but I read through these comments to also see if there may be people who have a different view.

      • Tru, if they “never squirted milk”, they never breastfed. Either that or you didn’t witness it because there is not one successful nursing mother who has not squirted milk on someone/something.

      • Tru, as well as being unable to explain begrudgingly desire, which is the only reason I keep reading, you can’t seem to think straight. I didn’t say it was creepy that someone had opinions different to mine. That would be a stupid thing to say. Unfortunately, it was you that said it. Sorry! It is creepy to see breasts as so sexualised they need to be covered when used for their intended purpose. I find it…creepy. I don’t see anything sexual about breastfeeding at all..and it is is creepy to me that you see it as shameful, needing to be covered, sexual, in the same league as porn, somehow, or otherwise anything other than nutrition for babies. Can’t you respect that other people have an opinion different to your own? I feel a little bit yuck that you think of it like that, and quite sorry for you that you haven’t had the beautiful experience of breastfeeding and you ALREADY have all these issues about it. So, so, sad. Don’t worry, I’m not at all flustered;-) Thanks for thinking of me though!

      • Jacqui, THANK YOU! Sometimes I wish I could move to a country that actually supoprted breastfeeding! And I do agree, whole-heartedly-that unless you have breastfed a child, you have no idea what it’s like and therefor, it’s hard to accept someone’s opinion who doesn’t know anything about it except that they are uncomfortable seeing a mother nurse her child. It blows my mind that people have opinions on things they have no experience. But, I guess it’s their right to have an opinion, just like it is my right to nurse, whenever, whereever! I am nursing my first child (almost 13 months) but it sounds like you have several children and women like you are my inspiration!

41. Brandi, Great to see not everybody over there has creepy weird thoughts and issues, LOL…and awesome that you are still breastfeeding. You are significantly helping your child’s health, massively reducing the lifetime load of your child on the medical system…and…isn’t it a beautiful bonding experience. Hopefully, one day Tru will understand that too and all this silliness about what other people think – which seems to be so prevalent in her concerns – will fall away. I hope so! It would be sad if she – or anyone – let prejudice get in the way of the best thing for the baby and mother. Did you know the Swahili have a single word for mother and baby – mamatoto – because they aren’t separated, ever, at all…their babies rarely cry and are breastfed, wherever, whenever. They have a happiness index of 5.8, which is the average of that of the 400 richest people in the world. And their breasts are showing all the time! Imagine that. Happy mamatotos, AND uncovered breasts. It is possible kids! Go you Bree, great work so far, hopefully you get as far as you want to with your beautiful breastfeeding relationship – without anyone else butting their nose in.

42. I LOVE the attitude the author is expressing (pun intended). We as individual mothers can make our individual choices on our own comfort levels of nursing in public BECAUSE people like this speak out. Thank you!

43. Jacqui, although words typed may come off like we’re angry, that’s not the case here. I’m not going to explain my wording to you if that seems to be the only thing you worry about.. when some of your wording “getting hurting feelings” was typed. I do not care if I’m experienced or not, I know so many women who would argue against your opinion. I apologize for what seems to be a somewhat of a heated debate but it’s not wrong of me to express words in their defense. It just doesn’t make sense to me in the theoretic situation you provided.. where I would be squirting milk all over people that pass by because of a baby fussing, means I should just drop all my cares and give in? Or maybe it’s just another indicator of why you should use some kind of cover. To be honest, this whole thing about making it sexual… well, I don’t see how it comes as a surprise when even though a man can control his urges.. it doesn’t mean he is going to look away. That’s the nature of how men are. There are no religious creepy overtones just simple facts. Going to the beach and seeing women in bikins is what you are expecting when you go to the beach. So when you are sitting at a nice dinner and look over at the table next to you and see a mother exposing it all, it kind of catches someone off guard, The whole misconception that covers are these oversized clown tents is silly. And yes, I think it is important to show some consideration for others because the world would be better if that were the case. For those that actually put a light cover over there baby shows that they are self aware, thoughtful of the bonding moment shared without the inevitable awkwardness of strangers eyes, and showing some modesty. To those who think otherwise… it is your choice to make. But remember, every time you expose your breast with a baby latched on to a PUBLIC place where there is potential that strangers will look at you.. just because your offended, doesn’t mean that other person won’t be because you chose to do it.

    • Honestly Tru, have a nice life. There’s just no point trying to gett hrough to you, you don’t listen to anything else anyone has to say and you just want to be right. You aren’t right, and you haven’t ever even breastfed yourself, so how would you even know? I just find you ridiculous, thoughtless and selfish. Sorry, but you are…can’t believe you are even considering “having a nice dinner…and see a mother exposing it all”…what about the baby’s nice dinner? You’re obviously one of those people who doesn’t think about anyone but herself and her own selfish needs. You’re part of the problem with our society. When we treat little people like they matter we’ll start getting somewhere. I don’t even know where to start – I spend a lot of time in nice restaurants (probably quite a bit more than you do!) – and if I see a mother breastfeeding, I smile at her – because I want her to feel supported and happy, and because seeing her beautiful little one eating contentedly the way we’re designed to does actually fill my heart up. I don’t need to fake it, look away, or place judgement on her. You are a young lady who is going to have an unhappy life (which you’re already demonstrating right here, spending your time ranting at people who’ll never agree with you), if you can’t smile at the joyful things in life instead of constantly judging others and expecting them to do what you want all the time. Time to expand your horizons Tru, and consider that not everybody will have the same opinion as you. That doesn’t make you right, unfortunately, it just makes you different. I hope you learn to see the joy in the world, and truly wish for you that one day the sight of a beautiful baby eating dinner in that nice restaurant with you makes you smile instead of frown. Good luck!

44. Some of these comments are so impassioned they border on intolerant. Ironic, isn’t it?

45. I just read a quote from Ricky Chevais (I think that’s right) he said, “just because your offended doesn’t mean your right”. It really hit home.

46. I guess that I’m starting to realize just how naive I can be sometimes. I just have such a hard time understanding how this can even be such an issue. I’ve recently read articles talking about mothers being asked to leave businesses for breastfeeding, yet I see girls walking around in backless tops and shorts so short that they should be asked to wear a hairnet in order to sit in a restaurant. We can have commercials airing every type of feminine products/yeast infection product but we can’t breast feed in public? Something is wrong with this picture. I personally have never breastfed, but I have friends who do and I think I’ve seen shirts/dresses/bathing suits that show more boob than I have ever seen from them.

47. My friends playfully referred to me as “the flasher” while I was nursing… My daughter did NOT want to be covered and by this I mean no blankets, wraps, material and I was totally fine with that. I had to find cross over nursing tops that required me to expose my breast/nipple for nursing vs my tummy. Which I honestly preferred my breast showing vs my tummy at the time 😉 I was grateful that I was committed to nurse for 22 MONTHS (gasp!) and would have gone longer (yep I’m one of those). I was PROUD to nurse in public, was a committed member of LLL and offered to meet with ANY mom that was nervous to break the NIP barrier 🙂 in 22 months I got 2 nasty comments and quite a few strange looks but the mothers that smiled, the women and men that supported me let me know I was always in the right. Like you I’d done my homework and knew my rights. I am always smiling and complimenting nursing moms and still support those that are struggling to find their way. I am a PROUD FLASHER 🙂

48. Wonderful piece, thank you for not being polite! Just one little thing: not every (new) mother is experienced enough to slip in the nipple in two seconds, so a little patience and not being scared of – indeed – nipples, will help those mothers too become proud NIPpers.

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