In Which Patton Learns About Vulvas and Mommy Gets Nostalgic

So, this just happened.

Patton: Patton and Mama pee pee!!
Mama: You want to pee with Mama? Ok.
(Mama goes to sit down).
Patton: No, Mama! Like this! (stands up next to the toilet and leans toward it) Like this!! (pushes Mama toward a standing position.)
Mama: Oh…well honey, Mama sits down to pee. Mama has a vulva.
Patton: (looking. squinting.) You got a penis?
Mama: No, honey,I do not have a penis, I have a vulva, so I sit down to pee.
( Patton allows me to sit down, and stands there, looking. You know. Down there.)
Patton: Mama, whatta you got over there? You got penis?
Mama: No, baby. It’s a vulva.
Patton: You no gotta baby over there?
Mama: What?
Patton: You no gotta baby come out more?
Mama: No, love. There’s no more baby in there. The baby came out. The baby is Charlie!

Patton: (thinking) You wanna brush teeth?


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